Saturday, February 28

Sunday's Bitch

Immediate disclaimer:
Sadly, this is not me.
If I were younger, thinner, Asian, and had perky breasts,
then it would be me exactly.
If I were a lesbian, I would let this woman do me instantly.
Because its Sunday.
And Sundays are a bitch.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Whilst I was away for the past 3 months, a variety of moments occurred in my exciting, self-stimulating, life. I shall list them quickly here, as they now bore me to death to speak about.
Broken toe.
Same toe then dislocated.
Opposite foot then crushed by rack of frozen ribs.
Broken bones.
More pain.
Permanent damage.
Fucking Crutches.
Inability to walk.
Pissy attitude.
Alcohol intoxication.
Chest pain.
More chest pain.
Heart attack.
Some whininess.
News of second grandchild due in August.
Life renewed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Its fucking fantastic to be back, both here and in the real world.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stay tuned.

Tuesday, February 24

Don't Fucking Miss Out

It has been nearly 3 months since I last blogged.
I died between then and now.

My return is imminent.

Be wary.

Be prepared.