Saturday, September 27

It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore...

I really don't think there is anything else I can say that would as amusing as this.

Thursday, September 25

Too Early In the Damn Morning.

Here I sit, drinking a Dew, smoking too many cigarettes, trying to wake up, and watching the dog lick her crotch. After mulling this over, in my still sleep-induced state, I have decided that its a good thing women cannot lick their own vulva. If we could, we would do it a whole lot fucking better than any man ever could. And then men would become obsolete.

We also would do it way too fucking often and run the risk of becoming addicted. And that would mean "trying to quit having sex in an unhealthy and addicted manner" which would eventually lead to some idiotic crap like "Sex Addicts Anonymous." Which is actually just a smoldering pile of hot, stinky bullshit. No one forces someone to have sex all the time, thats just crap. Its a "legal" way to cheat - "Oh, I can't help myself, I'm a sex addict, blah, blah, fucking blah. Don't fuck anyone. Now you're no longer addicted. I've cured you. Now give me $450 and run along.

All those idiotic "anonymous" groups are a bunch of bullshit. You replace your old addiction with your new addiction, "group meetings." Gotta get there on time, gotta do 10 meetings this week, gotta go here and do that and say this stuff and learn this bullshit and and and and and...........

It's real fucking simple people. Just say fucking no. Addicted to tobacco? Don't fucking buy any. Addicted to alcohol or drugs? Don't fucking buy any. I'm addicted to both. Do I quit? Hell no. Why? Because I simply do not want to quit.

Another of my little turds of truth. Face reality you fat lazy bastards. Don't blame your "addiction" crap on anyone or anything else other than your lazy-ass selves. I was a heroin addict once-upon-a-time. Was. Not "recovering, " just no longer buying it and using it. Yes, it IS that fucking Simple. (Bet that pisses a few people right off. Good. It should.)

Ah, but I'm rambling....this all started with the dogs crotch. All dogs eat pussy. If a cat does it, is that considered pussy on pussy action? Ohh ...scary, its too fucking early to get that deep.

Friday, September 19

Just Do It Dammit

September 19th is National
"Talk Like a Pirate Day."
Why just talk?

Liquor makes everything more enjoyable.
Got a better idea?
I didn't fucking think so.

Tuesday, September 2

Everywhere You Look, Its One Idiot After Another

I'm wondering just how fucking desperate one must be, to want to fuck an animal. Any animal fuckers out there want to answer this ?

Got a man lives in the area who was caught fucking sheep about 20 years ago. Hes still know as "The Sheep Fucker." Wonder if that lovely tidbit will also be on his headstone. "Here lies John Doe, Father, Husband, Grandfather, Sheep Fucker." Once you get caught, no one forgets.

Got another man in the area, caught fucking a pig maybe 10 years back. Hes the Pig Fucker to everyone now. I wonder why a pig and not sheep?

Read about a man who got caught fucking a fish he caught. I understand when you fuck sheep and pigs you do it in their ass. The Fish Fucker must have wanted a cold wet blow job. It is illegal to fuck a fish IF you caught if first? Do you still cook it after? Maybe the fish actually sucks you off.

You never read about women getting caught having animals fuck them. They make movies with women being fucked by all sorts of animals, but theres money involved there.

Fucking idiots.

Monday, September 1

Little Turds of Truth

I got my ass beat rather often as a child. I hated it. I was supposed to hate it. If I didn't want my ass beat, I changed my behavior or learned not to get fucking caught. I, in turn, beat my children's asses when needed. They didn't die. They aren't scarred. They are not in therapy. They are perfectly normal.

What the fuck is wrong with parents of young children these days?

Everywhere I go I see demanding, whining, screaming, 2 and 3 year old fuck monkeys who run entire families. By the time they are 7, 10 and 13 I want to reach out and strangle them where they stand.

These fucking kids are allowed to decide where, when, and what meals will be eaten. They decide their own bedtimes. They pick and choose their own toys and clothing (and dress and look like morons). They are catered to and pandered to and mollycoddled and never-no-not-ever punished.

So tell me something dipshits - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Have you lost your fucking minds? Here's a little turd of truth for you - NO ONE CAN STAND YOUR CHILD. Whiny, pissy-assed little bitches and bastards no one wants around. Start being a fucking parent instead of a "friend" and raise the little fuckers right - before they grow up and someone else kills them.