Ode To Bacon, For my Friend with the Ego

I went to visit a friend (who can be found HERE)

and fuck off yes I do have friends.

He was lamenting his burned turkey bacon.

Being the kind and generous soul that I am,

I trolled the internet and found a plethera of bacon products for him,

as a reminder that

Real Bacon Rules.

I'm fucking brilliant. You know it and so do I.

Enjoy!

Bacon Scented Air Fresheners

Bacon Bandages

Ah... Bacon Flavored Toothpicks. Buy extra.

After toothpicks, of course you need Bacon Flavored Floss

Bacon and Egg Bandages - for those who don't like lonely bacon

Bacon Flavored Jelly Beans. Yum.

Bacon Wallet

(Made out of Bacon patterned cloth you idiots, not real bacon.)

The Bacon Lunchbox

This ended my original post.

My aforementioned friend stopped by to view said blog

and requested a bacon jock strap. (Yeah, like I can work magic).

I did a bit more bacon trolling and came across something that may be acceptable.

A Thong.

I also found pig panties.

Bacon Flavored Salts

Bacon Heart Panties

Maple Bacon Lollipops

And last but certainly not least by any stretch of the imagination,

The Web Famous Raw Bacon Bra

Again, I will take this opportunity to remind you all that

I am

Fucking Brilliant.

But you already knew that.