Thursday, November 6

Fuck You, This is Important.

You people who voted to ban gay marriages because its "morally wrong," are the same fucking people who don't seem to realize that YOU do things on a DAILY basis that are "morally wrong" as well. Not you? Really. All this "The Bible says its a sin" is fucking bullshit. I bet most of you don't even know the bible, haven't read it cover to cover, and rarely if ever use it as a reference.

I think that all of you who you were out there denying these thousands of same-sex couples the same basic rights that you all have, because it "goes against the bible," need me to 'school' you a little bit on how fucking wrong you all are as well. Lets have a little "class" on all the wrong things YOU do, that the "Bible says is a sin."

Here are just a few examples. I'll try to make it real fucking simple for you.

Category #1: The guy across the street just got a new truck. You think to yourself, "why can't I get a nice truck like that? " "How can he afford a new truck?" "Wow, nice convertible." "Oooh I love the color of that new car they bought."

Your neighbor just put in a nice swimming pool. A pool would be great right about now, wouldn't it?" Have some friends over, cook some burgers on the grill. Relax around the pool. You vow to yourself that next summer, you're getting a pool and it will be bigger and better than his.

You drive through a more expensive neighborhood. You too wish you had the plush lawns, the big house, the nice cars, and the money to afford it all. That much money, to never worry about bills or new cars or kids clothing again, man, that would be great wouldn't it?

The new couple that moved in down the road - hes young, sexy, nice body - shes young, cutesy, great shape, hot. You wonder what happened to your body, or maybe you wonder when did your wife or husband get fat? Where did the years go? You think to yourself that maybe you should start working out. Maybe a diet. Maybe even a tanning bed. Maybe a face lift or breast implants or some botox or a tummy tuck. Maybe you're the same age as that young couple and a bit jealous because they look so good. Bastards.

Tsk, Tsk. You've been coveting. This ring a bell? You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. Wish you had a phone like your friend? Wish you were thinner like that friend of yours that eats and never gains a pound? Yup, still coveting.

Category #2: You work weekends, or maybe you have weekends off and spend the entire weekend doing yard work or remodeling or other "work around the house." You might sleep in late both days on the weekends. You look forward to weekends at the end of the week to spend time with your family, traveling, etc.

Again, does this ring a bell? Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. For six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord; you shall not do any work. Tsk, Tsk. You weekend workers are, gasp, sinning. You're going against the Bible. Been to church on Sunday lately? Did the laundry last Sunday? Mowed the lawn last Sunday? Took out the trash? Washed the car? All work. You get my point here, right?

Category 3: You're young. Your parents are a bit strange, they don't fit in. Maybe they are hippie hold outs from years ago. Maybe they dress differently. Maybe your dad argues too much with everyone. Maybe their house is falling apart. Maybe they are poor or in ill health. Whichever, you don't take your friends around much. You don't want to be embarrassed. Maybe you're a bit older and you have a mom with Alzheimers disease. She wanders around too often. You get called at work by your dad telling you that your mother has wandered off again. You really do need to find a care facility don't you? Make it easier on everyone. Or, maybe its your father. Maybe hes nearly 80 years old. His body is not working like it should anymore. Maybe on occasion he urinates in his clothing. Hes slow. You're impatient. You hurry him up, move him along. Probably don't visit as often as you should. Its easier now that your parents are in a nursing home. Maybe they aren't quite that old yet. Maybe your mother is in her 40s or 50s and dresses like she did 20 years ago. You try to get her to change but she doesn't. Shes comfortable as she is. You don't agree.

Tsk, Tsk. Ring a bell? Honor your father and your mother. "Honor" kids. You don't put them in a home when they are old, you honor them by taking care of them they way they took care of you. You aren't embarrased by them, you honor the years they put in doing their best. You look beyond the little things that you don't like about your parents because they are your parents. They are meant to be honored. All you sinners out there. You know what I'm talking about. Going against what the Bible says, are we?

Category #4: Have you ever said any of the following:, "Oh my god look at that?" "Good god whats wrong with her." "Jesus Christ what is wrong with you people." Just samples. Have you ever typed "OMG" or "OMFG" ?

Tsk, Tsk. Ring a bell? "You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God." Typing OMG is wrongful use. Saying goddamit is wrongful use. Etc. You get my drift here, don't you?

Category #5: Ever bring home any pencils or pens from work? Anything else maybe? Post it notes, or paper clips, or a marker? Did you ever put money in a vending machine and get 2 items instead of 1? Cool huh. Did you ever get incorrect change back from a clerk in a store, they miscounted and you got extra and didn't say a word? Did you ever see that candy dish they have in some restaurants where it says "have a mint" so you took 2 or 3 or a handful? Did you ever put money in a newspaper machine and take 2 papers instead of 1? Accidently walked out of a store without paying for something, totally unintentional, but realized it when you got to the car?

Tsk, Tsk. This ring a bell? Thou shall not steal. "Have a mint" means ONE. You stole if you took 2 or 3. Extra food from vending machine you know you did not pay for? Yup, stealing. You didn't call the company and report it did you? Didn't think so. Yeah so what if that stupid young clerk at the gas station gave you an extra few cents back. Gas is fucking expensive isn't it? Got to the car with that unintentionally unpaid for object and didn't immediately go back into the store to pay for it? Sorry kids, knowingly taking and keeping something that doesn't belong to you is stealing.

School is now closed.

Now then, its obvious you are all perfect and get to judge others. The Bible says you should judge everyone doesn't it? So, you all judged that gays, lesbians, transgendered people, etc are all a bit less moral than you? Just couldn't give them the right that you have for marriage because it goes against the bible or its morally wrong. Yet I've just shown you that you do things that go against the Bible as well.

I might just take a moment to add that if you have ever fucked someone's ass or had your ass fucked, and I mean all you straight people, you know who you are, or if by chance you've given or received oral sex or a blow job, then kids, you are doing exactly what you do not want same sex couples to have the legal right to do. Ever had sex before marriage? Ever had sex for pleasure instead of for the exact purpose of creating a baby? Tsk, Tsk.

But in case you don't actually realize it, this wasn't about sex. It was simply about the right for same-sex couples to have the same legal rights that heterosexual couples have. The right to make medical decisions after 30, 40, or 50 years of sharing a life together. The right declare that you love someone enough to marry them and make a vow to take care of them in sickness and in health, to love and cherish. The right to be together as long as you both shall live.

I cannot comprehend why voters in this country object to same-sex marriages. It's completely fucking beyond me. Why the fuck does it matter to you?

You should all be ashamed and embarrassed of yourselves. You did a bad thing by voting against this. Its time for you all to get out there and fix it.

13 Snappy Comebacks:

LOBO said...

I agree.

In pursuit of true and equal "justice for all," the government should just take the gender questions out of everything.

-The problem is all that insurance money being levied by political lobbyists against it.

They should stay out of peoples' bedrooms, and let the churches slug this one out.

And PS, Thou hast been linked ... Great post!


Needless To Say said...

You're fucking brilliant!

Poobomber said...

The sad thing is that the people that need to read this the most, won't.

Fuck 'em. (Anally, just to piss them off.)

Captain Dick said...


No, that doesn't quite do this post justice...


Sassy said...

Lobo - You are correct. Gender means nothing. Human does. Thanks for the compliment! Thou hast been added as well.

Needless - I know I am, but so are you!

Poo - Get those people and make them read this, rub their faces in it. You're one of my stalkers for godssake, do something can you?

Captain - Thank you. A-fucking-men is absolutely correct.

Anonymous said...

Well. I will not state my opinion, But. The people did vote on this am I right? The majority ruled?

I'm not saying it is right or wrong. But perhaps, that this will be re-voted on in years to pass?

rd said...

as long as this country is under the thumb of white, christian religious zealots, gays don't have a chance.

i'm actually surprised that we elected a black president. progressive on one front, backward on another.

well, now that the MORAL majority has had their say on the matter, they can go back to fucking their children, siblings etc., like NORMAL people.

i'm disgusted with the tightassed religi-pigs in this country.

whatever happened to separation of church and state?

okay, i'm through. gotta go fuck some sheep.

rd said...

oh, and it's nice to know i'm not the only foul-talking, loud-mouthed bitch who has a wild hair up their ass.

from one sassy bitch to another...bravo.

put on your kinky boots and let's go kick some ass.

Preston said...

Here! Here! Obama's victory was bittersweet for gay people in light prop 8 and the other states that approved similar measures. It disgusts me.

rusty said...

Ah yes, people living according to the book translated hundreds of thousands of times over written largely on a man who died before it was even written, yeah, about that, people are ridiculous and it sickens me.

Patent Absurdist said...

i friggin LOVE YEW!!!!!! Best. Post. Evar!!

you RAWK

2nd2Nun said...

Appreciate your supporting comment on mine.

You're right...brilliant.

And fuck 'em, it is important. :)


Catherinette Singleton said...

I'm sending you a cyber high five! You freaking tell them, Sassy B!